tinycatfeet said: sparks/croach asshole teen au goddammit i didn't know i needed this
I mean they basically are asshole teens, but like … imagine if they were for-real teens:
- being partnered up with each other on a history project, Sparks being a HUGE NERD over Earth history, Croach swinging between “I do not care at all about Earth history” and “that footnote is INCORRECT, we must contact the publishers of this book AT ONCE”.
- Sparks volunteering after school/on weekends with the local law “helping” to “solve crime” (he mostly just helps people fill out paperwork for speeding fines and stuff but he loves it so much, best job ever).
- Sparks and Croach repeatedly getting detention for having loud arguments during class and refusing to stop even when they’re in trouble because the other person is WRONG.
- Sparks and Croach being way more competitive than they need to be when placed on opposite teams during PE/gym class, and trash talking each other the whole time they’re playing (SPARKS AND CROACH: VOLLEYBALL SHOWDOWN).
- Sparks and Croach hanging out with each other all the time but insisting that they’re not friends whenever anybody says anything.
But seriously. Croach being a hardass with a gender identity that Sparks doesn’t necessarily understand but is totally accepting of with no questions asked, and the two of them helping wrangle difficult AV/Comp Sci equipment at school for the extracurricular activity.
Cactoid Jim, the quarterback who is also in band and who can read the manual and figure out the problem that Croach has been analyzing while Sparks kicks the CPU. He and Red hit it off and get pre-engaged, only to discover that they really have no idea what the other is going through and decide to break up.
Rebecca Rose Rushmore, the school’s advice columnist, who overcommits to ALL the sports and ALL the clubs because she wants to live life to the fullest. Initially drawn to Spark’s unusual knack for technology, she and Jim become involved during their school’s adventure club outings.
Red, the track star who grew up in foster homes until she could emancipate herself from the system, who is working to get her GRE and splits her studies between the school’s library and the local community college. She’s an engineering prodigy who works at the school part time, helping the IT guy set up the network.
The school’s AI sends out announcements over the PA throughout the day, and the introverted girl behind the microphone loves to watch Croach over the surveillance system. When her feelings for him fade she goes on a rebellious streak, dressing as an old school punk rock anarchist and joining the debate team to use her voice for a greater good. She still loves doing the announcements, though.
Pemily Stalwark, the new fiery freshman who got in the school on a soccer scholarship, learns to play for fun rather than competition. She’s pretty good with a screwdriver, so she helps Sparks out with some of the installs where he needs an extra set of hands.
Gene Peeples is the gym teacher who checks in on Pemily to see how she’s blending in with the other students. His second wife died in a car accident, and his daughter narrowly avoided death in the passenger’s seat. Their relationship is on the mend, but his grief and her trauma are great obstacles.
I really need this.
o h m y g o d
Yessssssss, everyone agrees that the high school AU is the best AU! I have been filling so many chat windows with all my FEELINGS about this AU. My version somewhat different, though they are all good and should be discussed AT LENGTH.
· Sparks already knows he doesn’t want to go to the Academy like his parents want but he can’t figure out how to get out of it without pissing everyone off. He’s the ACE hall monitor, though. At least he has a couple more years before he graduates to figure out the Academy stuff.
· Sparks also can’t figure out how to handle all his ~feelings~ about Croach the exchange student who is staying with his family, and there is definitely NO ONE he can ask about that one. So he’s just his begrudging friend and partner in all their class projects in the meantime.
· Red is the girl next door that Sparks grew up with who Sparks only just noticed is a GIRL, Ron Weasley-style (not that Sparks only likes girls), and he is mighty pissed when Jim notices her first and asks her to the Homecoming dance.
· Jim, of course, is a senior who is student body president/captain of all the sports/etc. etc. Things on that front quiet down for a bit when he finally graduates and heads off to college.
· Felton is the kid who used to eat paste in kindergarten and who still tags along as part of the gang. He’s got a crush on Wendy, who is still mooning on about her boyfriend who is off at college now. Felton is probably going to transfer to the vocational program, though.
· Barkeep is the poor homeroom teacher just trying to keep SOME semblance of order with all these hormonal teenagers running around. Eventually the kids might realize that he’s married to the computer teacher, but so far they’ve been too dense to pick up on it.
· Pemily is Sparks’ younger sister who makes varsity soccer as a freshman. She’s a little….intense, but they’re a good team when they need to be.
· Very important: Croach does NOT know what a Homecoming Dance is, but he WOULD LIKE TO BE ASKED, SPARKS NEVADA.
There is….more, but not all of it is necessarily for public consumption. Suffice it to say that they are all GIANT dumbies and I love them all SO MUCH.
HIGH SCHOOL AUUUUUUUUUUUUU I think about this sometimes before I drift off to sleep. Red’s pregnancy scare. Croach’s pregnancy scare. The clique of cyberpunks led by Alloy Roy (Techs, inspired by Croach’s presence and his own burgeoning knowledge of Martian culture, gets away from that crowd). Two teachers who are strangely apathetic about actual teaching (in the middle of class, she knocks on his door brandishing a bottle of gin - “Darling! Look what one of the teachers bought us as an end of the year gift!” “Why, it’s October, dear.” “We’re celebrating in advance!” “Well, who am I to turn away such a thoughtful gift. Who did you say bought this?” “Me!” “Marvelous!”). The science teachers and the technology teachers (totally a real thing) always at each other’s throats. Croach going to someone’s ‘my parents are out of town for the weekend’ party and grossly overestimating his ability to hold down alcohol and getting hilariously and then dangerously drunk.
I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT A SPARKS HIGH SCHOOL AU OKAY